Day 18 Of Injury "The Lord's Healing"

I just want to thank God for the ability to believe and lean on him again.  This time of injury has humbled me more than you know. It brought be back to the basics of life and made me rely on the Lord for my strength day in and out.

My shoulder is beginning to heal. I can feel it gradually getting better each night.  I actually got a chance to run on the treadmill today during 7:00am workouts workouts.  It's such a blessing.  It means the world to me to be able to do something active with my brothers.

I have been coming to practice watching my brothers sacrifice without me.  The most I can do at practice is read the plays from the script for our team periods.  Even doing that brings me joy at this point.  That has been my way to contribute to the team's success.  I'll tell you what sucks the most, when the team is winning without you playing.  I am used to having a starting role in our offense, a bit of a leader. And to see the train keep rolling without me, hurts man.

After leaving practice there's an empty feeling of displacement.  Being injured is like you're kinda on the team, but not really because you don't do anything.  Thoughts like these haunt me.  Before I go to bed.  Anytime I'm alone.  I sometimes question what's the point of going to classes. You know, if football's all you know, without it, everything else sucks a little more. 

Through all of that, I have not missed a class, I have not lost focus of Janesh, I have been able to turn what I do up a notch. God placed a huge support system in my life.  Maybe the only reason I'm still moving along. My mom and dad text me every day.  Trying to keep me in high spirits.  I tell you the only thing is saving my life off the football field is the Lord.  I get strength just as I think about giving in.  I get strength to keep moving forward.  From some strange place, almost instantly after the bad thoughts begin to win the mental battle, I get a refreshing assurance that things will be alright. There will be something that is good to come out of this hard time. 

I just have to give him the glory for keeping me strong during this time. I don't have much but what I do have, he said he would make me a great manager of.  He is not a God that he should lie.  He has blessed me with the tools and the strength to manage this life.  I don't believe he bought me here to leave me behind.

Hope this blesses someone out there,

- Janesh